NEW FEATURE!

…I’m Just Sayin’

Ahh, the month of May. When hope springs eternal, as wide-eyed and misinformed seniors graduate in hopes of making that next step. Remember when you actually had your Graduation Party on the same day you had Graduation? Now, you have parties run as late as August. I’m thinking that’s for seniors looking to grab one last dose of financial heftiness right before they leave for college! That’s actually some brilliant planning, now that I think of it.

When you’re the Morning Host on a highly-energetic Show, folks just always assume you live a wild, rock-n-roll, on the go lifestyle. Case in point. Recently I was asked to MC the Ladies Ducks Unlimited Banquet in Dakota, WI.  (For those not familiar with Dakota, yes, there IS a North and a South Dakota, WI. And for the life of me, I can’t remember what side of the line I was on this particular night.) But when you get asked to host a room full of women in a banquet hall on the back end of a bar, and they’re all packing heat, you pretty much forget all the other important questions!

Not too many nights after that, I was pulling out raffle tickets and telling some great ‘ol Stuart Muche (of Stuart’s Landscaping fame, and really, our CLOSEST local version of Duck Dynasty, along with brothers Paul and Chad and dad Don, who were popularized in the recent Sturgeon documentary, “The Frozen Chosen”) stories.

That was capped off by a very early morning (the day after the night of the Stuart Muche stories. Let’s just say I wasn’t at the top of my game) of providing music and announcing for the WALK MS 2014 Fundraiser at Marian University.

Yup, it’s quite a life I have created for myself!

Those that listen to me in the morning, know of the bird sanctuary that we have somehow become the caretakers of. Last year, as has been the case the past 4 seasons, we managed to have a robin’s nest come to life on the frame of one of the girls’ bikes, hanging precariously upside down from the ceiling of the garage. The ladies in my house pleaded for mercy, so the nest remained.  Twas a messy scene however, when the babies began to take flight, and would perch in various places in the garage, and, whenever a human or a vehicle approached the surroundings. While in flight, they would “deposit” their fright, on anything that was NOT moving.

In addition to the nest inside the garage a pair of environmentally aware sparrows decided to build their humble abode out of the plastic bag hanging on the SIDE of the garage, on the wall. So now you have nest above, AND nest to the side. Making entry a bit dicey. Especially at night.

Those two nests did not seem to satisfy the Bird Nesting Association, as we then managed to have another nest created by the mailbox, in the little square enclosed box below the mailbox that houses the morning paper.

Then one morning, my beautiful bride Lynne informed me that the clothes were not drying properly. Which prompted me to respond, “Hmmm, must be lint blocking the dryer vent.” At which point Shania asked if, by vent, did I mean that shiny, silver long thing that ran through the ceiling in her room? The one where it sounded like there were little birds in it every morning? Seriously?

Again, ALL this time I am managing to retain a stiff upper lift, not wanting to upset the ladies of my house, or raise the ire of PETA. (They were none too happy with the fire-breathing depiction that was given to the Sea Gull in last month’s article).

So imagine my angst (did I say angst? I meant to say surprise) when Shandra, my youngest, informed me that “Dad, I think we have baby birds in our wall.” I mean, come on, in the wall? That can’t possibly be.

And sure enough, on the side of the house, a young wiry group of wren’s had managed to pop a hole in the siding, and had stuffed in enough grass to create what appeared to be quite the hang out.

Now, I’m not usually the one to rain on a good Amish-style nest raising, but enough was enough. So I grabbed my hammer, 4 nails (because I KNEW 2 would drop out of my mouth by the time I reached the top of the ladder), and an Outlet Box cover. What, you mean you didn’t know that’s really what they were used for?

Now, I’m not certain, but I’m pretty sure the mom wren was the one dive-bombing me as I performed my delicate piece of carpentry 20-feet off the ground. And no, it was not because there were eggs already placed there. I made sure of that, as even Shandra would not forgive me for that. I think she was a bit ticked that all her hard work had gone to waste. I’m thinking it’s similar to when your mom or wife slaved away all afternoon, to make a great meal, and then you innocently send a text, letting them know you’re gonna stop and “get something to eat with the boys” on the way home from work. Two words for you…bad idea!

Now, for the first time in I believe five spring seasons, we are actually nest-free. And quite frankly, I’m not quite sure what to think about that. Here’s hoping you actually find spring in your backyard!

Just Sayin’ is a monthly article written by Marty in the Morning. Marty is the owner of Martini Media and Head Bee Keeper/General Manager/Morning Host of B-104.7. Marty can be heard Mornings from 5a-10. To be included in the next round of Just Sayin’ or to add your own witty banter, Marty can be contacted at Marty@B104online.com

 

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